PART #11: THE DIARY OF JESUS


As the “Jesus In Every Psalm" article showed, every word in the Psalms is a direct prophecy of a feeling or action expressed in Christ. Most of the Psalms were fulfilled by His physical life, which is why we find fewer references there to the end times which so abound in Isaiah, Ezekiel, Jeremiah, and the other prophets. It really wasn't written for the end times – it was written for Christ. By the Being who became Christ.

For the rest of this article, I'll be assuming that you already understand what was written in “Jesus In Every Psalm”, and referring to it accordingly, without qualification, as things Jesus said and thought. Of course there are a lot of Psalms that have ideas and actions that seem directly opposed to what the world thinks Christ was and is like. But that is largely because the world worships a false Christ – a wimpy counterfeit in whose mouth butter wouldn't melt. We know a lot of things about Christ from the New Testament that are diametrically opposed to what the world thinks He was like.

For instance, he refused to heal a woman, calling her a dog (Matthew 15:22-28), was angry (Mark 3:5), was insensitive about the dead (Matthew 8:22), called people fools, liars, snakes and all sorts of names (Matthew 23, John 8, etc), judging (John 5:30), and even physically BEAT people with a whip (John 2:13)! (More on this in Unlikely Things Jesus Did And Thought) So you see, there is room in our concept of Jesus for considerable understanding. Because the Jesus we know, even those of us who have understanding and have rejected the bulk of the world's deception, wouldn't do many of those things.

The Psalms portray Jesus thinking or doing many of those same actions, in some cases explicitly prophesying them, and so by reading the rest of the Psalms and seeing what else is there, we can build a very detailed picture of the nature of Jesus. I should warn you that it may be nothing like the Jesus you thought you knew, but it was written by David, and David was a man with a heart like Jesus, and it was written as a prophecy, and so those things are true nonetheless.

It is popular to portray Jesus as all-knowing, either from birth or from some very early stage in His life. This is really one of the core concepts of the Anti-Christ doctrine – the doctrine that Christ was not subject to the same weaknesses and frailties we are, but was somehow special, different, able to sail through life without hardship or emotional struggle – hence undermining and devaluing His sacrifice.

But Jesus' omniscience as a human is not justified from Scripture. We know from the New Testament that Jesus learned obedience through the things that He suffered. And so in the Psalms, we see many things that Jesus did not know.

Psalms 39:4-5 LORD, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is; that I may know how frail I am. Behold, thou hast made my days as an handbreadth; and mine age is as nothing before thee: verily every man at his best state is altogether vanity. Selah.

Jesus didn't know exactly when He was going to die; He knew that His time “was not yet”, but only the very last day do we find Him knowing exactly WHEN He was to die (John 13:1, 3). And just a few days previous, He specifically denied knowing when His second coming would be.

Mark 13:32 But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.

He did one day get the answer to that prayer – but probably not the day He asked it. This concept of Jesus knowing all results of all sin is quite popular, but again specifically denied in the Psalms.

Psalms 71:15 (RSV) My mouth will tell of thy righteous acts, of thy deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is past my knowledge.

For you must admit, that had Jesus known when He would die, how, where, why, and every result of every possible sin, it really wasn't a challenge at all. What we are really doing – what we should have done all along – is humanizing Jesus. See, the more we distance ourselves from Jesus, the more we can feel good about not living up to His example. If we can call him “God” and “special” and “holy” and “different”, then we have every excuse for not being as righteous as He was.

But if He was a flesh-and-blood mortal like you and me, with no leg up, with a carnal nature that wanted to sin JUST as much as yours does, if He wasn't a bit different – if He was painfully average and plain, even homely – then there is no excuse for you.

Isaiah 53:2 For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.

And so by humanizing Jesus, we're not cheapening him, or “bringing Him down to our level”. We're making everything He did even more meaningful, because it was something that WE can relate to! Something WE can do just as He did! Something WE can identify with as a real example – not some gilded, distant idol on a pedestal but a REAL person with REAL feelings and REAL frustrations that He had to handle just as we must handle them!

For example, did Jesus ever get frustrated to the point that He almost lost out on salvation? Did something confuse Him so much that He doubted why He was doing what He was doing? Yes!

Psalms 73:1-2 Truly God is good to Israel, even to such as are of a clean heart. But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped.

His steps had almost slipped – why? Because one of the main things any honest Christian will ask sooner or later is “why does God bless the wicked and not me?”

We look around and see the mob boss living in splendor and ourselves living in a trailer park; we see adulterous movie stars living on golf courses while we live on astro-turf. We see thieving politicians driving Mercedes while we drive 20-year-old jalopies. We see Satan's ministers respected by all and ourselves the joke of society, and ask WHY? How is this fair? We see the ungodly healthy and ourselves sick, and ask WHERE IS GOD IN ALL THIS?

Most would tell you Jesus NEVER felt that way – but if He didn't, He wasn't really like us; and wasn't tempted in all points like we are; and in the Psalms, we find a definitive answer. Yes, He did. And He wrote about it in His diary.

Psalms 73:3-5 For I WAS ENVIOUS at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. ... For there are no bands in their death: but their strength is firm. THEY ARE NOT IN TROUBLE AS OTHER MEN; neither are they plagued like other men.

Jesus' feet almost slipped because He was ENVIOUS at the wicked! Think about that! He saw that they were not in trouble, and He wanted to know WHY! The same thoughts I just expressed above, thoughts that YOU probably had (or have)! And He goes on with more of a description about them...

Verses 7-12 Their eyes stand out with fatness: they have more than heart could wish. They are corrupt, and speak wickedly concerning oppression: they speak loftily. They set their mouth against the heavens, and their tongue walketh through the earth … And they say, How doth God know? and is there knowledge in the most High? Behold, these are the ungodly, who prosper in the world; they increase in riches.

These people blaspheme even God, and yet they prosper! And this seemed horribly unfair to a young Jesus, so much so that He goes on to say...

Verses 13-16 VERILY I HAVE CLEANSED MY HEART IN VAIN, and washed my hands in innocency. For all the day long have I been plagued, and chastened every morning. If I say, I will speak thus; behold, I should offend against the generation of thy children. When I thought to know this, it was too painful for me;

Jesus thought that He had CLEANSED HIS HEART IN VAIN! Because He had done good, and what had it gotten Him? Plagued all the day long, chastened every morning! He offended everyone He knew by speaking the truth! Who among us hasn't felt that way! Hasn't wondered if perhaps we were wasting our time! Even Paul did!

Galatians 2:1-2 Then fourteen years after I went up again to Jerusalem … And I went up by revelation, and communicated unto them that gospel which I preach among the Gentiles, but privately to them which were of reputation, lest by any means I should run, or had run, in vain.

Maybe he imagined the whole thing; maybe he'd missed some key scripture, some point of logic; maybe he'd wasted the last 20 years of his life! Because he was suffering and the sinners were prospering! And in Jesus' case, it is valuable to know that He faced the same questions we do, because we know they can be overcome. But it is still more valuable to learn HOW He answered them – and the Psalms give us that too! After saying that He tried to understand why the wicked prospered, but “it was too painful for me”, He concludes with His answer...

Verses 17-20 Until I went into the sanctuary of God; THEN understood I their end. Surely thou didst set them in slippery places: thou castedst them down into destruction. How are they brought into desolation, as in a moment! they are UTTERLY CONSUMED WITH TERRORS. As a dream when one awaketh; so, O Lord, when thou awakest, thou shalt despise their image.

And here we see His discovery of the answer. The wicked look like they have it great. Good house, money, ease, respect, all the things we want. But there are three strikes against ill-gotten gain. The first one is most severe but requires the most faith in order to draw any comfort from it; the knowledge that God will “get them” eventually. But this, while ultimately worse than anything that could happen to them now, isn't as satisfying to us because we don't see it happening and hence it requires trust in God to make it happen – trust that God “when He awakes, will despise their image”.

The second strike against it is that wealth gotten that way has a way of disappearing just as fast as it came – easy come, easy go. Take the stock market crashes – when the stocks go up, everyone's happy... those people are envied by all. When the stocks crash, they jump out of windows. Their life went from enviable to suicide in 24 hours. Thus they are set in “slippery places”, and are “brought to desolation in a moment”.

But the third strike, and the one that is most easily seen, is that “they are utterly consumed with terrors”. I've known many people who were, if not wealthy, at least were considered “well-off”. People with questionable business practices and who were always looking to cut a sharp deal. They were prosperous, respected, and to this day still are. But having been in their homes, known them closely, I noticed something about all of them. They are terrified!

They live in constant terror that someone will come and take from them the things they've taken from others. They lock their doors obsessively, they buy burglar alarms and safes, they worry about their possessions whenever they are separated from them. They worry about robbers and murderers, far more than less wealthy people simply because they feel they have more to lose – and being thieves themselves, white-collar thieves or otherwise, they know only too well how easy it is to lose everything in a moment.

Ecclesiastes 5:12 The sleep of a labouring man is sweet, whether he eat little or much: but the abundance of the rich will not suffer him to sleep.

So you see, the rich – that is, those who by treachery and deceit, however slight, get their wealth – don't really have it better. They have more, but their path is a slippery one and they live in constant fear of a fall. But it's still a natural emotion for us to have, when we see them apparently evading their sins and thumbing their noses at God with impunity, all the while we are only too well acquainted with our own sufferings.

Jesus had to ask this question; and He answered it. And after answering it, concluded by chiding Himself for his shortsightedness.

Psalms 73:21-24 Thus my heart was grieved, and I was pricked in my reins. So foolish was I, and ignorant: I was as a beast before thee. Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand. Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory.

Now you might say “there's no way that's about Jesus; Jesus never had ANY doubts about what He was doing, or why!” – well, let's compare what I just read to you with a prophecy that is unarguably about Jesus, and see if it doesn't say the same thing...

Isaiah 49:5-6 And now, saith the LORD that formed me from the womb to be his servant, TO BRING JACOB AGAIN TO HIM, ... I will also give thee for a light to the Gentiles, that thou mayest be my salvation unto the end of the earth.

I quote this to make the context unarguable; This chapter was about someone who was “called from the womb” (vs 1), to be God's servant, to bring Jacob again to God, and who was to be given as a “light to the gentiles”, which is explicitly quoted in the New Testament as applying to Christ – twice!

The reason this matters is because the verses preceding this show something most people don't associate with thoughts of Jesus... first He talks about being protected by God, and groomed for the office, and then concludes:

Verse 4 Then I said, I have laboured IN VAIN, I have spent my strength for nought, and in vain: yet surely my judgment is with the LORD, and my work with my God.

So we see Jesus asking “WHY am I here? Am I wasting my time?” the exact same questions He asks in Psalms 73, although this time it is in a context of “What good have I done, who have I really helped?” – other questions we all face on a regular basis! And we again see His answer...

Verses 5 And now, saith the LORD that formed me from the womb to be his servant, to bring Jacob again to him, Though Israel be not gathered, yet shall I be glorious in the eyes of the LORD, and my God shall be my strength. …

His conclusion is that even if Israel does NOT listen, even if Israel is NOT saved, Jesus will STILL be glorious in the eyes of the Lord – just as Paul says..

2 Corinthians 2:14-16 Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place. For we are unto God a sweet savour of Christ, in them that are saved, AND IN THEM THAT PERISH: To the one we are the savour of death unto death; and to the other the savour of life unto life. And who is sufficient for these things?

We triumph – we win – whether people listen to us or not! If they listen, we are a savor of life; if they don't, we're a savor of death; but either way, we did OUR job and what they did wasn't our business, once we'd done all we could! God was happy with us EITHER WAY! And so God is happy with Jesus, even if “Israel be not gathered”, because Jesus did His part! And if Israel won't listen, He'll just try the gentiles, as He goes on to say in Isaiah 49...

Isaiah 49:6 And he said, It is a light thing that thou shouldest be my servant to raise up the tribes of Jacob, and to restore the preserved of Israel: I will also give thee for a light to the Gentiles, that thou mayest be my salvation unto the end of the earth.

So you see, Jesus did have uncertainty in His life, just as we do. He asked those same hard questions about who, why, and what He was – and the Psalms show us some of His answers. All the ones we need. But because we've assigned them to David, and mostly to idle platitudes of worship by David, we've missed the bulk of their message as the diary of Jesus.

What got me started on this subject in the first place was the simple question based on this scripture...

1 Samuel 16:23 And it came to pass, when the evil spirit from God was upon Saul, that David took an harp, and played with his hand: so Saul was refreshed, and was well, and the evil spirit departed from him.

Why would the evil spirit depart when David played music? Do demons hate music? Then explain rap! And if not, do they only hate some music? Which sort? And why? And the conclusion, which I must admit was someone else's idea, was simply that David was playing what would become the Psalms; and that these Psalms were prophecies of Christ.

The music David played represented snapshots of the nature of God and of the mind of Christ that a demon couldn't stomach being around, because it epitomized a nature the spirit hated. They portrayed answers to problems a rebellious angel didn't want to listen to; ways around sin and frustration that Satan had failed to find, and refused to consider. And the fact that the Psalms showed someone (Jesus) finding real solutions to real problems they didn't want to answer emptied the room of evil spirits just as fast as opening a Bible empties a room at your average church. And for the same reason.

Psalms 88:15, 18 I am afflicted and ready to die from my youth up: while I suffer thy terrors I am distracted. …Lover and friend hast thou put far from me, and mine acquaintance into darkness.

Jesus had a hard life; we don't know the details of His childhood, even the Psalms don't add a lot, but they add enough to tell us that He was afflicted from His youth; that He faced conflict and trouble from all sides no doubt from His first memory. But where did He get His help?

Psalms 119:49-50 Remember the word unto thy servant, upon which thou hast caused me to hope. This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me.

His help came from God's word; a significant portion of which are prophesies of Jesus. In a sense, all those prophecies were Jesus answering these questions as a God and leaving clues for Himself – and us – to follow, when we needed them most.


PART #11: THE DIARY OF JESUS

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