{"id":4382,"date":"2026-01-03T23:22:32","date_gmt":"2026-01-03T23:22:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thesimpleanswers.com\/articles\/?p=4382"},"modified":"2026-01-03T23:23:12","modified_gmt":"2026-01-03T23:23:12","slug":"when-did-god-forbid-polygamy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thesimpleanswers.com\/articles\/2026\/01\/03\/when-did-god-forbid-polygamy\/","title":{"rendered":"When Did God Forbid Polygamy?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"pf-content\"><p><span class=\"verse\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p>I remember asking this question when I was barely a teenager; I read the Bible, and saw that David, for one, had eight wives. I knew David was a hero and a much to be admired. But I also knew that having eight wives was wrong.<\/p>\n<p>Like everyone I knew, I figured that it must not have been wrong then, and became wrong somewhere along the way. But when, exactly? And where is the chapter and verse?<\/p>\n<p>Kids ask the darndest questions, right?<\/p>\n<p>The fact is, most of the greatest men in the Bible had multiple wives: David, Jacob, Moses, Abraham; most of the heroes in <span id=\"00Hebrews11\" class=\"verse\">Hebrews 11<\/span><span class=\"unbold\">,<\/span> actually. The holier-than-thou churchgoers who sneer at the concept would not amount to a pimple on the behind of any of these men.<\/p>\n<p>So what gives them the courage to mouth off about something that most of the greatest men and women in the Bible considered normal? I say \u201cmen <em>and<\/em> women\u201d considered it normal, because Abraham taking Hagar as concubine was his first wife, Sarah\u2019s, idea <strong><span class=\"make_blue\">(<\/span><span id=\"00Genesis1613\" class=\"verse\">Genesis 16:1-3<\/span><span class=\"make_blue\">)<\/span><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Christians today would almost universally say it\u2019s \u201cobvious\u201d that it\u2019s wrong and it doesn\u2019t need to be written down in order for it to be considered a sin; it\u2019s just common sense. But appeals to \u201ccommon sense\u201d about morality are usually just appeals to \u201cthe taboos and customs of my tribe.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We can\u2019t really trust that morality, since everyone believes the traditions they were raised in are self-evidently righteous. But if they\u2019re really that self-evident, why do they differ so much between tribes?<\/p>\n<p>Customs about male-female relations have varied <em>widely<\/em> in every culture in history&nbsp;&ndash; from female veiling to bikinis, from chaperones to free love, from church weddings and \u201cand she went into his tent, and became his wife\u201d <strong><span class=\"make_blue\">(<\/span><span id=\"10Genesis2467\" class=\"verse\">Genesis 24:67<\/span><span class=\"make_blue\">)<\/span><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>And while Christians sometimes conform to worldly laws rather than give offense <strong><span class=\"make_blue\">(<\/span><span id=\"00Matthew172427\" class=\"verse\">Matthew 17:24-27<\/span><span class=\"make_blue\">)<\/span><\/strong>, <em>that is a concession Christians sometimes choose to make, and not a moral obligation.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>What matters is <em>not<\/em> the beliefs of your church, not what your grandmother would say, but what the Bible said&nbsp;&ndash; <em>what God said.<\/em> If that <em>isn\u2019t<\/em> paramount to you, then you\u2019re not even a Christian, are you? <strong><span class=\"make_blue\">(<\/span><span id=\"00Luke646\" class=\"verse\">Luke 6:46<\/span><span class=\"make_blue\">)<\/span><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>So let\u2019s ask the Bible\u2026 Is polygamy wrong?<\/p>\n<h3>HUSBAND OF ONE WIFE<\/h3>\n<p>The first place to turn is obviously the words of Paul, speaking to Titus and Timothy on how to choose elders to lead churches. Among those criteria, Paul cited the following:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"001nbspTimothy32\">1&nbsp;Timothy 3:2<\/span><\/strong> <em>The overseer therefore must be without reproach, <strong>the husband of one wife,<\/strong> temperate, sensible, modest, hospitable, good at teaching;<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>This looks like it clearly forbids polygamy; but looking closer, you\u2019ll realize that it only forbids <em>regional elders<\/em> from being polygamists! Paul pointedly did <em>not<\/em> say that no one would be allowed in church if they had multiple wives\u2026 only that the <em>elders<\/em> anointed by these men must be monogamous.<\/p>\n<p>But let\u2019s think about this for a moment. The very fact that this was a rule <em>for elders<\/em> meant there must have been many people in the church <em>who were excluded by this rule.<\/em> Right? Otherwise why make the rule that <em>elders<\/em> must not have multiple wives <strong>if not because many of the people they might have chosen did?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This proves <strong>that there were men in the true church of God who <em>had<\/em> multiple wives at this time,<\/strong> and Paul was directing Titus and Timothy to pass over them <em>for leadership roles!<\/em> Yet their presence in the church was not questioned, no one was directed to kick them out of the group until they learned from their sins.<\/p>\n<p>It should be noted that Paul had no problem ousting people who practiced actual perversion&nbsp;&ndash; <strong><span id=\"001nbspCorinthians516\" class=\"verse\">1&nbsp;Corinthians 5:1-6<\/span><span class=\"unbold\">,<\/span><\/strong> for example; a man who took his father\u2019s wife was a grave sin under the laws of Moses, and Paul had no problem kicking him out.<\/p>\n<p>But a man with multiple wives was simply passed over for a leadership position. Paul did not question his salvation, faith, or relationship with God. So ironically, rather than proving polygamy is wrong, this verse proves the opposite; that polygamy was practiced in the NT church.<\/p>\n<h3>CAN IT REALLY MEAN\u2026<\/h3>\n<p>Having explained what the scripture actually said, we can approach from a different angle: if Paul\u2019s words are taken to mean that multiple wives is a sin, as Christians today universally do, it would mean that David sinned by marrying all those other women<\/p>\n<p>The problem is, God specifically endorsed David as a role model for us&nbsp;&ndash; calling out one sin of his, and one alone, <strong>and explicitly endorsing all of his other acts:<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"001nbspKings155\">1&nbsp;Kings 15:5<\/span><\/strong> <em>because <strong>David did that which was right in the eyes of Yahweh,<\/strong> and didn\u2019t turn aside from anything that he commanded him <strong>all the days of his life,<\/strong> EXCEPT ONLY in the matter of Uriah the Hittite.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>It\u2019s difficult to argue with a straight face that his polygamous relationships were scandalous and shameful, yet God didn\u2019t see fit to mention them among the \u201cexceptions\u201d to David\u2019s righteousness.<\/p>\n<p>God even praised David calling him <em>\u201ca man after mine own heart, which shall fulfil all my will\u201d<\/em> <strong><span class=\"make_blue\">(<\/span><span id=\"00Acts1322\" class=\"verse\">Acts 13:22<\/span><span class=\"make_blue\">)<\/span><span class=\"unbold\">.<\/span> Yet that same heart&nbsp;&ndash; one like God\u2019s, mind you&nbsp;&ndash; led him to marry eight women,<\/strong> contrary to today\u2019s common sense and almost unanimous church dogma.<\/p>\n<p>The thing is, when church dogma or cultural taboos disagree with God, it\u2019s your church that\u2019s wrong, not God.<\/p>\n<p>If that\u2019s now how you feel, you\u2019re not a Christian at all.<\/p>\n<p>The way your church interprets Paul\u2019s command to Timothy, David would be disqualified from being an elder; yet God intends to appoint him as king over Israel for all eternity <strong><span class=\"make_blue\">(<\/span><span id=\"00Ezekiel3725\" class=\"verse\">Ezekiel 37:25<\/span><span class=\"make_blue\">)<\/span><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Meaning Paul\u2019s own future boss broke one of Paul\u2019s rules by not being \u201cthe husband of one wife.\u201d Clearly, my worst critics will have to concede we have a problem here; is it David we should question, or Paul? Or at least, our interpretation of Paul?<\/p>\n<p>Nor do we have only one problem! Abraham was the most important figure in the Bible, second only to Jesus Himself; and Paul praises him as the \u201cFather of the faithful\u201d <strong><span class=\"make_blue\">(<\/span><span id=\"00Galatians378\" class=\"verse\">Galatians 3:7-8<\/span><span class=\"make_blue\">)<\/span><\/strong>, founder of Paul\u2019s own faith\u2026<\/p>\n<p>And yet even though three great world religions call him a prophet of God, founder of their faith\u2026 Abraham fails Paul\u2019s test of an elder, being the husband of more than one wife. Do you see the problem?<\/p>\n<p>This means that Timothy, following Paul\u2019s rules, would not have appointed Abraham as an elder over the Corinthians. <strong>Yet Abraham was the <em>first and most respected elder of the Christian religion!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And just in case someone wants to quibble about the fact that Hagar was a concubine, I doubt any Christian wants to argue that Paul meant \u201celders must be the <em>husband<\/em> of one wife, <em>but can have as many concubines as they want.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h3>THE LORD\u2019S BIGAMY<\/h3>\n<p>But the problem gets bigger, for this alleged perversion goes all the way to the top&nbsp;&ndash; and I mean <em>all<\/em> the way. For Paul spoke of Abraham\u2019s bigamous relationship as analogous to those of God and the Old and New Covenant churches <em>yet never with a hint of condemnation for the relationship itself!<\/em> <strong><span class=\"make_blue\">(<\/span><span id=\"10Galatians42131\" class=\"verse\">Galatians 4:21-31<\/span><span class=\"make_blue\">)<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Now if, by analogy, Abraham was like God; then God, likewise, is a bigamist; since Jerusalem above and Jerusalem below were both wives of God <em>at the same time<\/em> just as Abraham was husband to Hagar and Sarah. Nor is it the only time the Lord practiced bigamy\u2026<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"00Jeremiah314\">Jeremiah 3:14<\/span><\/strong> <em>\u201cReturn, backsliding children,\u201d says Yahweh; \u201cfor I am a husband to you. I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>The context <strong><span class=\"make_blue\">(<\/span><span id=\"00Jeremiah368verses68\" class=\"verse\" data-verse=\"Jeremiah 3:6-8\">verses 6-8<\/span><span class=\"make_blue\">)<\/span><\/strong> makes it clear that Israel and Judah were the wives to whom He was married. In fact, He wound up divorcing them for their adultery:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"10Jeremiah38\">Jeremiah 3:8<\/span><\/strong> <em>I saw, when, for this very cause that backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a bill of divorce, yet treacherous Judah, her sister, didn\u2019t fear; but she also went and played the prostitute.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>So\u2026 if you want to call the Lord a pervert for marrying two women at the same time, be my guest. I will watch from afar when you take Him to task for His sins. Then prepare the marshmallows to roast on the fire that follows.<\/p>\n<p>Yet the Lord is utterly unrepentant, <em>even when as a man.<\/em> For despite divorcing these two wives, He is going to marry again; throughout the NT, the bride is referred to as singular, as every Christian knows; but in <em>His own parable<\/em>, He intends to marry <em>five more women!<\/em> (And was willing to marry as many as ten, if they had gotten their act in a pile in time).<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"10Matthew25113\">Matthew 25:1-13<\/span><\/strong> <em>Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be like ten virgins, who took their lamps, and went out to meet the bridegroom\u2026 But at midnight there was a cry, \u2018Behold! The bridegroom is coming! Come out to meet him!\u2019 \u2026While they [five] went away to buy, the bridegroom came, and those [five] who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut\u2026 Watch therefore, for you don\u2019t know the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Granting that this is a parable, parables must be built on truth; here, the Son of Man, Jesus, is clearly the bridegroom; I doubt any Christian would argue with that interpretation. Why, then, do they ignore the fact that He very clearly intends to engage in polygamy at His return, orgying with no less than five women?<\/p>\n<p>The primary point of the parable (\u201cwatch and be ready\u201d) could have been made with fewer women, even one; there was no reason to particularly mention ten potential wives all looking to marry Jesus <em>unless there was some sense in which that would be true.<\/em> <strong>Meaning there is yet polygamy in the Lord\u2019s future<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>This is violently unacceptable to pretty much every Christian today, so they must dismiss this, along with the Lord\u2019s OT wives, as mere symbolism; and of <em>course<\/em> it is symbolism. But <strong>the Lord must be sinless, <em>even in symbol; even in parable, His words must be true, and endorse good actions.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Spiritualize <em>that<\/em> away<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<h3>THE HUSBAND OF ONE WIFE<\/h3>\n<p>So clearly, Paul\u2019s words <em>cannot<\/em> mean what the entire Christian world believes they mean. Paul <em>could not<\/em> have meant for them to mean that. When he told his followers not to ordain elders who were polygamists, <em>he could not have been implying that those men were sinners.<\/em> <strong>Otherwise he would have been calling every Old Testament hero and the Lord Himself a sinner<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>So what, exactly, was he trying to say? Usually when you look closely, you\u2019ll see that the very scriptures people wrongly use to condemn something, wind up being the strongest proof of that thing. This is no exception.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"00Titus156\">Titus 1:5-6<\/span><\/strong> <em>and appoint elders in every city, as I directed you; if anyone is blameless, <strong>the husband of one wife<\/strong>, having children who believe, who are not accused of loose or unruly behaviour.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>So why did Paul make such a rule for his elders? Why must they, alone, be monogamous, and not the common people? Why did he lay on them a restriction that the heroes of his own faith, as he was well aware, did not live by? He told us, if people had bothered to listen\u2026<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"10Titus1711\">Titus 1:7-11<\/span> <em>For the overseer must be blameless<\/em><\/strong><em>, as God\u2019s steward; not self-pleasing, not easily angered, not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for dishonest gain; but given to hospitality, a lover of good, sober minded, fair, holy, self-controlled; holding to the faithful word which is according to the teaching, <strong>that he may be able to exhort in the sound doctrine, and to convict those who contradict him<\/strong>. For there are also many unruly men, vain talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision, <strong>whose mouths must be stopped;<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Paul wanted the elders to be unimpeachable examples of righteousness, with no hint of impropriety <em>as understood by the Jews or the Greco-Roman world.<\/em> In other words, Paul chose not to do certain permitted things that were frowned on by contemporary culture, to focus on the core of his message.<\/p>\n<p>It would be as if you were to go to a Muslim country; they consider alcohol a sin, so if you wanted to teach them about Jesus it will be a lot easier if you are not, by their definition, a sinner at the same time&nbsp;&ndash; even though it is not a sin to drink alcohol.<\/p>\n<p>In that case, I might tell my followers \u201cdon\u2019t drink while you\u2019re in Iran, so as to be blameless <em>by their rules\u201d;<\/em> <strong>yet this would not in any way imply that drinking was in fact a sin<\/strong>. As he, himself, said\u2026<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"101nbspCorinthians1023\">1&nbsp;Corinthians 10:23<\/span><\/strong> <em>\u201cAll things are lawful for me,\u201d but not all things are profitable. \u201cAll things are lawful for me,\u201d but not all things build up.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>So likewise, Paul told his followers to choose elders who did not to have multiple wives <em>which<\/em> <strong>likewise did not imply the act was sinful, <em>only that it was frowned upon by the people he was trying to reach.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The Romans and Greeks, who totally dominated the cultural life at the time, frowned on multiple wives (mistresses of either gender were widely accepted though). Thus, the cultural environment of the time made multiple wives a fight Paul simply didn\u2019t want to have; it wasn\u2019t the conversation he wanted to have, not the hill he wanted to die on.<\/p>\n<p><strong>But that did not make it a sin<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<h3>HE MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE<\/h3>\n<p>The only other scripture that allegedly proves God hates polygamy is <strong><span id=\"20Matthew19\" class=\"verse\">Matthew 19<\/span><\/strong>; but not only does this <em>not<\/em> prove that God is against polygamy, <em>it doesn\u2019t even mention polygamy!<\/em> The context is <em>divorce and divorce alone!<\/em><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"20Matthew1936\">Matthew 19:3-6<\/span><\/strong> <em>Pharisees came to him, testing him, and saying, \u201cIs it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?\u201d He answered, \u201c<strong>Haven\u2019t you read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female,<\/strong> and said, \u2018For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall join to his wife; <strong>and the two shall become one flesh?\u2019<\/strong> So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, don\u2019t let man tear apart.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>The context was a question about the morality of divorce; Moses permitted divorce, and they wanted Him to come out against it so they could convict Him of anti-Mosaic heresy, so they could stone Him.<\/p>\n<p>Jesus appealed to Adam and Eve to show that God had made a male and female; not to cite that as the ideal, but to make the point <strong>that these two parts became one flesh. He clearly said that!<\/strong> His point was explicitly about the <em>union,<\/em> not the parts of which that union was made!<\/p>\n<p>The idea being that, as it would be wrong to cut yourself in half, so likewise it would be wrong to become divorced. That\u2019s literally all Jesus said; no more, no less. <strong>He did <em>not<\/em> say \u201cany union that is not one man, one woman, is an abomination unto God,\u201d<\/strong> which is literally what Christians see when they read this verse.<\/p>\n<p>He said that once a man and woman become <em>one flesh,<\/em> divorce is tantamount to cutting your own flesh in half; and if you truly believed that you <em>were<\/em> one flesh with your spouse, you would never do it to yourself:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"00Ephesians52829\">Ephesians 5:28-29<\/span><\/strong> <em>Even so husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. <strong>He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh;<\/strong> but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord also does the assembly;<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>But Jesus\u2019 words have no direct bearing on multiple wives, <em>since that was not the question He was answering.<\/em> The Pharisees continued the interrogation on the same subject of divorce, trying to force Him to admit He thought Moses was wrong to allow divorce:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"30Matthew1979\">Matthew 19:7-9<\/span> (GWV)<\/strong> <em>The Pharisees asked him, \u201cWhy, then, did Moses order a man to give his wife a written notice to divorce her?\u201d Jesus answered them, \u201cMoses allowed you to divorce your wives because you\u2019re heartless. <strong>It was never this way in the beginning<\/strong>. I can guarantee that whoever <strong>divorces his wife for any reason other than her unfaithfulness<\/strong> is committing adultery if he marries another woman.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Again, the appeal to Eden <strong><em>\u201cIt was never this way in the beginning,\u201d<\/em><\/strong> this time to show that Adam didn\u2019t divorce Eve after the apple incident (and if ever there was just cause, that would be it). Divorce was <em>permitted<\/em> by Moses, but God had always hated it <strong><span class=\"make_blue\">(<\/span><span id=\"00Malachi216\" class=\"verse\">Malachi 2:16<\/span><span class=\"make_blue\">)<\/span><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>The only reason Jesus allowed for divorce was if she slept with another man; as that would be a death penalty offense under the Old Testament <strong><span class=\"make_blue\">(<\/span><span id=\"00Leviticus2010\" class=\"verse\">Leviticus 20:10<\/span><span class=\"make_blue\">)<\/span><\/strong>. If the current civil situation didn\u2019t permit her to be stoned&nbsp;&ndash; like it wouldn\u2019t today&nbsp;&ndash; then she became \u201cdead\u201d to him anyway, and divorce would not be a sin.<\/p>\n<p>But through all of this, <em>there is no hint of a word about multiple wives;<\/em> the only topic was divorcing one wive to marry a second wife, which is <em>not<\/em> the same thing.<\/p>\n<p>It occurs to me that some might think they see a flaw in my logic; for how, they might say, can you be one flesh with more than one woman? Doesn\u2019t that prove God hates polygamy? That sounds compelling\u2026 until you read this scripture\u2026<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"201nbspCorinthians615\">1&nbsp;Corinthians 6:15<\/span><\/strong> <em>Don\u2019t you know that <strong>your bodies are members of Christ?<\/strong> Shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be!<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>How many members are in Christ\u2019s body? How many are baptized into His flesh? At least 144,000, according to <strong><span id=\"00Revelation74\" class=\"verse\">Revelation 7:4<\/span><\/strong>. So if Jesus can have hundreds of thousands of people <em>all, collectively, as part of His bride\u2026<\/em> all of them buried with Hm in his body\u2026 <strong><span class=\"make_blue\">(<\/span><span id=\"00Romans6311\" class=\"verse\">Romans 6:3-11<\/span><span class=\"unbold\">,<\/span><\/strong> etc).<\/p>\n<p>\u2026then why can\u2019t Jacob be one flesh with four women? Did not all five became one flesh, all of them the flesh of Jacob? For was not the entire household of Jacob one flesh? How else could Joseph\u2019s brothers say\u2026 \u201che is our brother <em>and our flesh<\/em>?\u201d <strong><span class=\"make_blue\">(<\/span><span id=\"20Genesis3727\" class=\"verse\">Genesis 37:27<\/span><span class=\"make_blue\">)<\/span><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>If Joseph\u2019s brothers could be one flesh\u2026 how much more could Jacob\u2019s wives be one flesh with him?<\/p>\n<p>And finally\u2026 if relationships are divinely ordained to be one man, one woman, with any additions or alterations to this formula being a perversion\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Then how can you hope to be one with God <em>and Christ<\/em> at the same time? <strong>To say nothing of becoming one with hundreds of thousands of other true Christians? <span id=\"00John1721\" class=\"verse\">John 17:21<\/span><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Weird, right?<\/p>\n<h3>THE IDEAL<\/h3>\n<p>After all of this, the strongest argument left is one of pure logic, based on Jesus\u2019 argument about divorce; that God made one man and one woman, which was therefore God\u2019s ideal; to do anything else is, logically, less than ideal and therefore a sin.<\/p>\n<p>This argument might be absolutely airtight\u2026 <em>if<\/em> that was God\u2019s New Covenant ideal. Thing is\u2026 it\u2019s not. Because <em>both Jesus and Paul contradict it!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>After the discussion about divorce, Jesus making it clear that you were stuck with the wench unless she cheated on you, the disciples drew the conclusion that it might be better to stay single\u2026<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"40Matthew1910\">Matthew 19:10<\/span> (GWV)<\/strong> <em>The disciples said to him, \u201cIf that is the only reason a man can use to divorce his wife, it\u2019s better not to get married.\u201d He answered them, \u201cNot everyone can do what you suggest. Only those who have that gift can. For example, some men are celibate because they were born that way. Others are celibate because they were castrated. Still others have decided to be celibate because of the kingdom of heaven. <strong>If anyone can do what you\u2019ve suggested, then he should do it.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>One man, one woman, is <em>not<\/em> Jesus\u2019 ideal! The ideal is <em>celibacy, an even BETTER ideal!<\/em> Yet I don\u2019t see many Christians preaching that ideal\u2026 do you? Paul likewise weighed in; remember, this is the same person who said <em>\u201ca bishop shall be the husband of one wife,\u201d<\/em> thereby endorsing that as the \u201cideal\u201d\u2026<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"301nbspCorinthians712\">1&nbsp;Corinthians 7:1-2<\/span> (GWV)<\/strong> <em>Now, concerning the things that you wrote about: <strong>It\u2019s good for men NOT to get married<\/strong>. But in order to avoid sexual sins, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>So\u2026 can you tell me now, with a straight face, that one man and one woman is the ideal? Because the two greatest figures in the NT, Jesus and Paul, both said that the <em>true<\/em> ideal is for a man <em>not to have a wife at all.<\/em> Having a wife, <em>even one,<\/em>is already a compromise!<\/p>\n<p>\u2026yet the fact it is \u201cbetter\u201d <em>does not make it a command;<\/em> and failing to achieve that \u201cideal\u201d does not mean you have sinned. <em>Explicitly, in the text, it says this.<\/em> Why don\u2019t people listen?<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"101Corinthians769Verses69\" data-verse=\"1 Corinthians 7:6-9\">Verses 6-9<\/span> <em>What I have just said is not meant as a command but as a suggestion.<\/em><\/strong> <em>I would like everyone to be like me [Paul never married]. However, each person has a special gift from God, and these gifts vary from person to person. I say to those who are not married, especially to widows: <strong>It is good for you to stay single like me<\/strong>.<\/em> <strong><em>However, if you cannot control your desires, you should get married.<\/em><\/strong> <em>It is better for you to marry than to burn with sexual desire.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Paul then discusses divorce for quite a while&nbsp;&ndash; strongly opposed to it, except in cases of unbelieving spouses&nbsp;&ndash; then resumes this conversation, again making it excruciatingly clear that this is his <em>opinion,<\/em> not a command from the Lord:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"201Corinthians72529Verses2529\" data-verse=\"1 Corinthians 7:25-29\">Verses 25-29<\/span><\/strong> <em>Concerning virgins: <strong>Even though I don\u2019t have any command from the Lord<\/strong>, I\u2019ll give you my OPINION. I\u2019m a person to whom the Lord has shown mercy, so I can be trusted. <strong><u>Because of the present crisis<\/u><\/strong> I believe it is good for people to remain as they are. Do you have a wife? Don\u2019t seek a divorce. Are you divorced from your wife? Don\u2019t look for another one. <strong>But if you do get married, <u>you have not sinned<\/u>. If a virgin gets married, she has not sinned. <u>However, these people will have trouble, and I would like to spare them from that.<\/u><\/strong> This is what I mean, brothers and sisters: <strong>The time has been shortened. <u>While it lasts<\/u><\/strong>, those who are married should live as though they were not.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Thus, as I said at the beginning, these were rules Paul made for his churches, <strong><em>on his own authority,<\/em> and very specifically <em>because of the \u201cpresent crisis\u201d<\/em><\/strong>&nbsp;&ndash; i.e., the difficulties of being a member of a religion hated by the Jews <em>and<\/em> by the Greeks.<\/p>\n<p>Having a wife to worry about <em>makes life harder.<\/em> Having several of them is just <em>begging<\/em> for headaches and stress <em>on a good day.<\/em> And these, Paul said, were not good days. These were days of persecution, famine, <strong><em>and while THESE DAYS LASTED this advice would remain wise!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>But that is <em>not<\/em> a command from God. That is Paul desiring that <em>his converts,<\/em> in <em>his geopolitical situation,<\/em> \u201cbe spared from trouble.\u201d If they ignore him, even <em>he<\/em> said <strong>they would not be sinning&nbsp;&ndash; but they would have a harder life than those who stayed single<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"301Corinthians73134Verses3134\" data-verse=\"1 Corinthians 7:31-34\">Verses 31-34<\/span><\/strong> <em>Those who use the things in this world should do so but not depend on them. <strong>It is clear that this world in its present form is passing away<\/strong>. So I don\u2019t want you to have any concerns. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord, that is, about how he can please the Lord. <strong>But the married man is concerned about earthly things, that is, about how he can please his wife. His attention is divided<\/strong>. An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the Lord\u2019s things so that she may be holy in body and in spirit. But the married woman is concerned about earthly things, that is, about how she can please her husband.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Doing laundry gets in the way of reading the Bible. Building a house for your wife gets in the way of fasting. Suckling children, teaching them, feeding them, gets in the way of feeding the house of God spiritual things. <strong>But these things are not sins<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>If being married prevented you from achieving salvation, then how did David, Abraham, Job, Moses\u2026 well, you get the idea. Clearly Paul was recommending what he believed to be the easiest life <em>in those trying times for his disciples.<\/em> <strong>But he was not saying this is the only way to live righteously!<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"401Corinthians73540Verses3540\" data-verse=\"1 Corinthians 7:35-40\">Verses 35-40<\/span> <em>I\u2019m saying this for your benefit, not to restrict you.<\/em><\/strong> <em>I\u2019m showing you how to live a noble life of devotion to the Lord without being distracted by other things\u2026 it\u2019s fine for a father to give his daughter in marriage, but the father who doesn\u2019t give his daughter in marriage does even better\u2026 <strong>That is my OPINION<\/strong>, and I think that I, too, have God\u2019s Spirit.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Paul\u2019s conclusion was simple; in his contemporary culture, which frowned on polygamy and was persecuting true Christians, it was better to have only one wife. In fact, given how hard life was at the time, it was better not to have <em>any<\/em> wives.<\/p>\n<p>These were his <em>opinions.<\/em> His wise <em>opinions.<\/em> But as he very clearly said multiple times, they were <em>not commands from God; <strong>and ignoring his advice was not a sin<\/strong>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Especially when his advice was clearly time-limited to \u201cthis time of present distress,\u201d during the political turmoil and anti-Jewish and anti-Christian sentiment of the early Roman Empire.<\/p>\n<p>Which is why his advice does not condemn David and Abraham and the rest because it was never meant to imply that this was a sin, or even slightly unrighteous; it was simply \u201cnot expedient\u201d \u201cin these days.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This advice has expired, and has absolutely no bearing on our life today&nbsp;&ndash; unless and until we face the sort of persecution that Paul did.<\/p>\n<h3>THE OTHER SIDE<\/h3>\n<p>But all of history has not been like that; for much of history multiple wives were not only acceptable, but wise. Remember, war has been a constant companion in most of human history; and war kills mostly men.<\/p>\n<p>This means that for most of human history there has been a strong gender imbalance, with far more women than men alive at any one point. This is good for the species, as women take a long time to finish their part in creating the next generation, while men can do their part very quickly.<\/p>\n<p>Hence, as any cattle breeder knows, if you want to build a herd quickly, get one bull and a few dozen cows. Likewise, if the population of mankind has been decimated by a brutal war, one man having a dozen wives can easily have seventy children and replenish the population:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"00Judges828\">Judges 8:28<\/span><\/strong> <em>So Midian was subdued before the children of Israel, and they lifted up their heads no more. The land had rest forty years in the days of Gideon. Jerubbaal the son of Joash went and lived in his own house. <strong>Gideon had seventy sons conceived from his body; for he had many wives<\/strong>.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>After years of Midianite oppression, famine, and living in caves the population had certainly taken a beating&nbsp;&ndash; especially the male population. There simply <em>weren\u2019t<\/em> enough males to make traditional marriages with all the females; what were they to do?<\/p>\n<p>How were they to protect and provide for themselves? Should they become nuns, lesbians, or prostitutes? Doesn\u2019t marrying a man who already has several wives seem like a good alternative in those circumstances? And a safer, and far more righteous option than the alternatives?<\/p>\n<p>Thus, we find examples of multiple wives most frequently in underpopulated areas with recent wars. Because that\u2019s the fastest way to rebuild society; natural resources like wild fruits, game, and wood are generally abundant since few are harvesting them, so the land can support explosive growth.<\/p>\n<p>In times of relative peace&nbsp;&ndash; like the Roman Empire, or today&nbsp;&ndash; it\u2019s less common since the gender ratio is far more balanced. <strong>But at no time in history has it become a sin; it is a simple choice&nbsp;&ndash; does your spiritual and financial situation allow you to consider the possibility?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Can you give two wives a better life than they can find with other men? Have you created peace and righteousness in your home with your first wife? If not, adding a second will make it much worse.<\/p>\n<p>All things are lawful\u2026 but all things are not wise. Let every man work out his own salvation with fear and trembling. We will all stand at the judgment seat of God, and we will all pay for our own choices&nbsp;&ndash; good or bad, we have to live with them.<\/p>\n<p>So make sure your choices are based on what you believe in, not what someone else believes in.<\/p>\n<h3>MULTIPLYING WIVES<\/h3>\n<p>The only other argument that I can find against the idea is not about having multiple wives <em>as such<\/em>, but multiple <em>foreign wives:<\/em><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"00Deuteronomy1717\">Deuteronomy 17:17<\/span><\/strong> <em>Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart not turn away: neither shall he greatly multiply to himself silver and gold.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>In speaking specifically to kings, Moses forbids the king to return them to Egypt, and forbids them to multiply horses, wives, and silver and gold <strong><span class=\"make_blue\">(<\/span><span id=\"50Deuteronomy1716verse16\" class=\"verse\" data-verse=\"Deuteronomy 17:16\">verse 16<\/span><span class=\"make_blue\">)<\/span><\/strong>. See, kings tended to take foreign wives to seal treaties; typically princesses and priestesses (there being a significant overlap between the roles).<\/p>\n<p>The reason kings should not take too many wives is clearly stated, \u201cthat his heart turn not away.\u201d <strong>Which means they must be foreign wives, since domestic wives shouldn\u2019t be serving other gods anyway<\/strong>. Solomon ignored this law, and look what happened:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"101nbspKings114\">1&nbsp;Kings 11:4<\/span><\/strong> <em>For it happened, when Solomon was old, <strong>that his wives turned away his heart after other gods<\/strong>; and his heart was not perfect with Yahweh his God, as was the heart of David his father.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>If Solomon had followed Paul\u2019s advice about not being unequally yoked with unbelievers, this would not have happened <em>even<\/em> if he did multiply his wives. Yet Solomon\u2019s example doesn\u2019t condemn multiple wives, just more wives than you can handle financially, morally, or physically. Which just makes sense (that is <em>actually<\/em> common sense).<\/p>\n<p>So each of the three strongest arguments against polygamy I can find have been handled; and upon examination, not only do they <em>not<\/em> prove polygamy is a sin, these very scriptures prove the exact opposite.<\/p>\n<p>They prove that, just like owning a gun, being a merchant, or being a king, it\u2019s neither good nor evil; if done righteously for the right reasons, it is holy, just, and good. If you buy a gun to kill people, it\u2019s bad. If you\u2019re a merchant to get rich by not giving a fair deal, it\u2019s evil. If you are a king to be serve yourself and not your people, it\u2019s wicked.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"101nbspTimothy18\">1&nbsp;Timothy 1:8<\/span><\/strong> <em>But we know that the law is good, if a man uses it lawfully,<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Likewise, if you want many wives so you prove your high school bullies wrong about you, or so you can live in a perpetual bacchanal, that\u2019s probably going to end badly. Why wouldn\u2019t it? You\u2019re doing it for the most selfish of reasons.<\/p>\n<p>If you want them because God has blessed you so that you can provide a righteous and loving home to many children and their mothers for as long as they live, then it is probably going to end well. Why wouldn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n<h3>SUMMARY AND CONCLUSION<\/h3>\n<p>These are the strongest arguments in the Bible against polygamy. There really aren\u2019t that many. And as you see, each of them actually proves that it is <em>not<\/em> a sin; it\u2019s simply unnecessary, and unwise, when you are poor, hated, persecuted and trying to solve bigger problems. <strong>But the same is also true of marriage in general<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>If this is not the time for a wife, then it\u2019s better to control your lust and be single. If you\u2019re prepared for the fight, able to manage the multiplication of problems, then go for it.<\/p>\n<p>If this is not the time for multiple wives, then it\u2019s better to control your lust and be monogamous. But if you\u2019re prepared for the fight, able to manage the multiplication of problems, then go for it.<\/p>\n<p>There is really no difference in these arguments.<\/p>\n<p>Which is why, even though a large number of the men in the Old Testament had multiple wives, and you will look in vain for a single word of condemnation on the subject from the law or the prophets.<\/p>\n<p>Indeed, it would be hard for Moses to condemn the practice when he almost certainly had two wives at the same time&nbsp;&ndash; a Midianite and an Ethiopian, no less. Thus, we find encoded in the law rules about how to manage the relationships between wives and rules to guarantee the inheritances went to the legal firstborn:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"10Deuteronomy211517\">Deuteronomy 21:15-17<\/span><\/strong> <em><strong>If a man have two wives,<\/strong> the one beloved, and the other hated, and they have borne him children, both the beloved and the hated;\u2026 he shall acknowledge the firstborn, the son of the hated, by giving him a double portion of all that he has; for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Now this would have been a stellar opportunity for Moses to say \u201cif a man has two wives, he has committed an abomination against the Lord and shall be stoned.\u201d That is how Christianity today would have written it. But\u2026 he didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>Because it is not, and never has been, a sin. If it were, then Moses has become the minister of sin by telling us how to handle inheritances in cases of multiple wives; for sin is based on the law <strong><span class=\"make_blue\">(<\/span><span id=\"10Romans77\" class=\"verse\">Romans 7:7<\/span><span class=\"make_blue\">)<\/span><\/strong>, and <strong>if the law shows us <em>how<\/em> to have multiple wives, the law therefore permits multiple wives. End of story<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>But while not a sin, it has, at times in history, been inadvisable; lawful, as Paul would say, but not necessarily expedient <strong><span class=\"make_blue\">(<\/span><span id=\"111nbspCorinthians1023\" class=\"verse\">1&nbsp;Corinthians 10:23<\/span><span class=\"make_blue\">)<\/span><\/strong>. It was expedient for the Lord, Abraham, Jacob, and so on, to have several wives.<\/p>\n<p>On the other hand, it was expedient for Jesus or Paul not to have any wife <em>at all;<\/em> it would get in the way of their life\u2019s work. But they both said that was asking a lot&nbsp;&ndash; so told us not to stress too much about missing that ideal.<\/p>\n<p>Then again, there are times in history where it is not only good, but necessary to have multiple wives. What, I wonder, will today\u2019s Christians do in that time? What would you do?<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"00Isaiah41\">Isaiah 4:1<\/span><\/strong> <em>Seven women shall take hold of one man in that day, saying, \u201cWe will eat our own bread, and wear our own clothing: only let us be called by your name. Take away our reproach.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Put that end-time prophecy in your pipe and smoke it.<\/p>\n<h3>FINAL THOUGHTS<\/h3>\n<p>Those who would say that \u201cone man, one woman\u201d is the ideal are flatly wrong. It is <em>already<\/em> a compromise, a distraction from the clearly stated ideal of \u201cone person and the Lord.\u201d <strong>Every married person has already missed the ideal, so they really have no room to talk about others who missed that ideal slightly more<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>I think the best summary of this concept is a paraphrase of Paul\u2019s own words about eating food offered to idols in the very next chapter after recommending abstinence; I\u2019ll just replace \u201cmeats\u201d with \u201cpolygamy\u201d and \u201ceat\u201d with \u201cmarry:\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"verse-highlight\"><strong><span id=\"501nbspCorinthians889\">1&nbsp;Corinthians 8:8-9<\/span><\/strong> <em>But polygamy will not commend us to God. For neither, if we don\u2019t marry, are we the worse; nor, if we marry, are we the better. But be careful that by no means does this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to the weak.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Despite all of this, the best argument against taking a second wife today is that it would interfere with our goal of spreading the gospel. First, this only applies if you are actually <em>spreading<\/em> the gospel&nbsp;&ndash; after all, even Paul only applied it to elders.<\/p>\n<p>But let\u2019s say you are an elder, or hope to become one; would it be better to stay single, so as to not offend those who might otherwise learn from you? For a long time, I believed the answer was yes. But I no longer think so.<\/p>\n<p>To fully explore why I say that, read my article lovingly titled \u201c<a href=\"\/articles\/2026\/01\/03\/gehenna-with-em\/\" title=\"Gehanna with \u2018em\" target=\"_blank\">Gehanna with \u2018em.<\/a>\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I remember asking this question when I was barely a teenager; I read the Bible, and saw that David, for one, had eight wives. I knew David was a hero and a much to be admired. But I also knew that&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4386,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[24,27,30,18],"class_list":["post-4382","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-good-to-know","tag-doctrine","tag-judgment","tag-people","tag-righteousness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thesimpleanswers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4382","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thesimpleanswers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thesimpleanswers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesimpleanswers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesimpleanswers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4382"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesimpleanswers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4382\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4396,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesimpleanswers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4382\/revisions\/4396"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesimpleanswers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4386"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thesimpleanswers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4382"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesimpleanswers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4382"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesimpleanswers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4382"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}